Well well well…
I am back. Still around? Whichever. I have a blog up and running (okay tbh this is my third or fourth attempt at a blog. One is up but all of my friends and family know about it…) but I decided to start this one to remain a bit more anonymous. Everyone has secrets after all, and I have few that I would like to talk about. They’re still secrets however, so it makes for quite a conundrum.
A new blog seemed like a good idea. My boyfriend has remarked that I seemed to be holding back quite a lot in some of my other posts. He’s not wrong. He also happens to be one of my secrets for a variety of reasons… but we’ll get to those later.
These secrets and stories that I want to tell, are not only my own (technically) and I have a
need desire to avoid conflict. Mostly until I am fully financially independent (plus who wants people to hate them? I sure don’t).
I feel like I am somehow limiting my creativity by not fully expressing myself. I can only talk about the (mostly) mundane and boring aspects about my life. I feel as if all the interesting and juicy bits are buried beneath the secrecy. Moreover, I just want a place where I can say what a want to say without worrying about what anyone thinks of me. I am slowly but surely trying to apply that to my daily life, but there are still a few challenges along the way.
I have a whole bunch of controversial opinions and ideas that don’t necessarily fit in with my family’s expectations and their perspective of me and who I am. It is a struggle to be the different one. The psychedelic sheep of the family. I would also like to discuss those particular thoughts and opinions of mine here.
I adore blogging and sometimes I feel as if you know your audience intimately, you begin to cater to what they want to hear (or rather to avoid what they don’t want to hear). I admit, this feels a bit like I’m in a spy movie. I’m clearly not new to keeping secrets, but this is a rather big one. A whole space for me to talk about whatever I wish to explore or crack open. It’s slightly intimidating. I can’t help but think of Harriet the Spy and I hope my web doesn’t become quite as tangled as hers.
I suppose the rebellious teenager inside of me is enjoying this cloak-and-dagger-danger (okay I’m exaggerating I know, but this is a big deal for me) a bit too much. I hope she knows what she’s doing with the reins this time. She has taken us down a few slippery slopes over the past few years and I am decidedly not looking forward to face-planting any time soon.
C’est la vie.
Well, fingers crossed (If anyone is reading this, cross your finger too… and your toes… thanks).
Lots of Love
Pseudonym Goes Here
P.S. If anyone is doing something similar, I’d love to know how it’s going and why you decided to make an anonymous blog.
P.P.S. No seriously I’m a bit nervous and I’d love to know I’m not alone.. hehe..